A recluse living in the Rocky Mountains with his dog, Shawnee, White Feather tells stories that lead us back to the primal joy of our existence. His philosophical and metaphysical essays push the envelope of our perspectives while grounding us to the feelings that connect us with our source. With insight and feeling, White Feather shares his journey through the shift in consciousness the world is going through, compelling us to look at our own journey. To discuss White Feather's writings and other philosophical and metaphysical subjects with others, visit White Feather Forum.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Rice Pudding
by White Feather
Early last year when we were moving we had a yard sale to get rid of a bunch of junk and lighten the load we had to move. It was at this time that my teenage daughter decided she wanted to get rid of all her stuffed animals. She was far too "old" for them and hadn't played with any of them for many years. Gathering them up, she came up with two large garbage bags full of stuffed animals. There was one stuffed teddy bear that I wouldn't let her get rid of though.
I wouldn't let her get rid of Rice Pudding. Rice Pudding is a white teddy bear who is about a foot tall. He's male and has shiny black eyes and tan cordurouy pads on his feet and hands and he's got a tan cordurouy nose--or at least he did; it's mostly worn off now.
Rice Pudding was the very first present my daughter ever received in this life; in fact she received it a couple weeks before she was born. I worked at a bookstore at the time and I was called away from work one day in what turned out to be one of a few false labors. When I went back to work the next day all the bookstore employees had chipped in together to buy Rice Pudding for the new baby. I accepted the teddy bear but had to tell the people that the baby didn't come yet after all.
So Rice Pudding sat in the crib that was set up in our bedroom, patiently waiting for his mistress to show up. Before the baby appeared two more stuffed animals joined the entourage but Rice Pudding was the very first. I named him Rice Pudding because that is what he looked like. His little tufts of white fur seemed to float in milk and it looked like rice pudding--or at least it did back then. (I have this nagging propensity to name things after food so don't ever ask me to name something while I'm standing in the kitchen.)
Rice Pudding was a very loving and loyal little teddy bear. He went everywhere my daughter went and he kept an eye on her when she slept. He was her favorite stuffed animal and, like I said, she ended up having a lot of them. Rice Pudding, though, was special.
Being a mother was the greatest experience of my life. I had never been one to play with dolls but back then I spent many an afternoon on the floor playing with my girl and her retinue of brightly colored animals and dolls. We did a lot of playing together--of course, she claims to not remember any of it. Well, I sure remember!
I remember once in Oregon my daughter and I went to the laundromat. Since Rice Pudding went everywhere she did, he came to the laundromat, too. While I did laundry, my daughter gave Rice Pudding rides around the laundromat in a laundry basket. Back then, she could have fun anywhere.
So I finished the laundry, loaded it into the car and then got my daughter and strapped her into the car. We headed home and as I was bringing an armload of laundry into the house after bringing my daughter in first I was stopped in my tracks by an awful shrieking scream. My daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs as though she had just been seriously hurt. I dropped the laundry and ran to her in the next room.
There was a look of absolute horror on my daughter's face. She screamed again at the top of her little lungs. I'm surprised my eardrums didn't shatter. Then, she slapped her hands to her cheeks and screamed, "Rice Pudding!" That's when I realized that she had left Rice Pudding at the laundromat. She was beside herself in panic!
So I grabbed her up and bolted out the door. I strapped her back into the car as fast as I could as she screamed at the top of her lungs. I got into the driver's seat and peeled out, heading to the laundromat as though we were headed for the emergency room at the hospital.
And when we got there Rice Pudding was still there sitting in the laundry basket! Boy was I ever relieved! My daughter ran over and snatched him out of the basket and gave him a hug that was one of the most precious things I've ever witnessed.
So last year my daughter tried to sell all her stuffed animals at the yard sale but they didn't move very well. Near the end of the yard sale she finally got the idea of just giving them away but it was too late. She still had too many left. That's when I suggested that we take the remaining stuffed animals to a local Christian charity that provides toys, food, and clothing to the poor. I pointed out that she could be helping to make some little kids happy but she didn't seem very interested in that. The main thing she liked was that she could get rid of them. That was a little sad but to tell you the truth after that long day of running a yard sale I was rather anxious to get rid of some of the leftovers, too. We brought a whole car load of stuff to the charity including the two big bags of stuffed animals. Unfortunately, we felt more relieved that charitable. My daughter sure didn't have any qualms about giving away all her stuffed animals. She had no emotional attachment to any of them since she didn't even remember when she played with them.
It's a good thing I saved Rice Pudding!
That was last year. This year, over the last couple of weeks my daughter has been cleaning out her room because she is moving out to be her own adult. I told her that I was going to have another yard sale later this month so if she wanted anything sold at the yard sale to put it in one corner of the room.
So there I was talking with my daughter about something while she sorted through her stuff when suddenly I saw Rice Pudding go flying through the air towards that corner of the room reserved for yard sale stuff. Oh my God! I quickly walked over there and retrieved the 18 year old bear. Aghast, I turned to my daughter and asked, "If you don't want Rice Pudding can I have him?"
She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Whatever."
It's painful to see that she has no memory but I understand why she doesn't. She is a totally different person than the person who played with Rice Pudding lo those many years ago. A completely different person! Of course, I'm a completely different person than I was back then, too. But the difference is that I remember!
That's why I saved Rice Pudding; because someday my daughter will remember, too. And wouldn't it be grand for him to still be around for when she remembered? Now, Rice Pudding sits on a shelf on the wall above my desk where he watches me spend endless hours at the computer. Who said teddy bears are just for kids?
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
Early last year when we were moving we had a yard sale to get rid of a bunch of junk and lighten the load we had to move. It was at this time that my teenage daughter decided she wanted to get rid of all her stuffed animals. She was far too "old" for them and hadn't played with any of them for many years. Gathering them up, she came up with two large garbage bags full of stuffed animals. There was one stuffed teddy bear that I wouldn't let her get rid of though.
I wouldn't let her get rid of Rice Pudding. Rice Pudding is a white teddy bear who is about a foot tall. He's male and has shiny black eyes and tan cordurouy pads on his feet and hands and he's got a tan cordurouy nose--or at least he did; it's mostly worn off now.
Rice Pudding was the very first present my daughter ever received in this life; in fact she received it a couple weeks before she was born. I worked at a bookstore at the time and I was called away from work one day in what turned out to be one of a few false labors. When I went back to work the next day all the bookstore employees had chipped in together to buy Rice Pudding for the new baby. I accepted the teddy bear but had to tell the people that the baby didn't come yet after all.
So Rice Pudding sat in the crib that was set up in our bedroom, patiently waiting for his mistress to show up. Before the baby appeared two more stuffed animals joined the entourage but Rice Pudding was the very first. I named him Rice Pudding because that is what he looked like. His little tufts of white fur seemed to float in milk and it looked like rice pudding--or at least it did back then. (I have this nagging propensity to name things after food so don't ever ask me to name something while I'm standing in the kitchen.)
Rice Pudding was a very loving and loyal little teddy bear. He went everywhere my daughter went and he kept an eye on her when she slept. He was her favorite stuffed animal and, like I said, she ended up having a lot of them. Rice Pudding, though, was special.
Being a mother was the greatest experience of my life. I had never been one to play with dolls but back then I spent many an afternoon on the floor playing with my girl and her retinue of brightly colored animals and dolls. We did a lot of playing together--of course, she claims to not remember any of it. Well, I sure remember!
I remember once in Oregon my daughter and I went to the laundromat. Since Rice Pudding went everywhere she did, he came to the laundromat, too. While I did laundry, my daughter gave Rice Pudding rides around the laundromat in a laundry basket. Back then, she could have fun anywhere.
So I finished the laundry, loaded it into the car and then got my daughter and strapped her into the car. We headed home and as I was bringing an armload of laundry into the house after bringing my daughter in first I was stopped in my tracks by an awful shrieking scream. My daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs as though she had just been seriously hurt. I dropped the laundry and ran to her in the next room.
There was a look of absolute horror on my daughter's face. She screamed again at the top of her little lungs. I'm surprised my eardrums didn't shatter. Then, she slapped her hands to her cheeks and screamed, "Rice Pudding!" That's when I realized that she had left Rice Pudding at the laundromat. She was beside herself in panic!
So I grabbed her up and bolted out the door. I strapped her back into the car as fast as I could as she screamed at the top of her lungs. I got into the driver's seat and peeled out, heading to the laundromat as though we were headed for the emergency room at the hospital.
And when we got there Rice Pudding was still there sitting in the laundry basket! Boy was I ever relieved! My daughter ran over and snatched him out of the basket and gave him a hug that was one of the most precious things I've ever witnessed.
So last year my daughter tried to sell all her stuffed animals at the yard sale but they didn't move very well. Near the end of the yard sale she finally got the idea of just giving them away but it was too late. She still had too many left. That's when I suggested that we take the remaining stuffed animals to a local Christian charity that provides toys, food, and clothing to the poor. I pointed out that she could be helping to make some little kids happy but she didn't seem very interested in that. The main thing she liked was that she could get rid of them. That was a little sad but to tell you the truth after that long day of running a yard sale I was rather anxious to get rid of some of the leftovers, too. We brought a whole car load of stuff to the charity including the two big bags of stuffed animals. Unfortunately, we felt more relieved that charitable. My daughter sure didn't have any qualms about giving away all her stuffed animals. She had no emotional attachment to any of them since she didn't even remember when she played with them.
It's a good thing I saved Rice Pudding!
That was last year. This year, over the last couple of weeks my daughter has been cleaning out her room because she is moving out to be her own adult. I told her that I was going to have another yard sale later this month so if she wanted anything sold at the yard sale to put it in one corner of the room.
So there I was talking with my daughter about something while she sorted through her stuff when suddenly I saw Rice Pudding go flying through the air towards that corner of the room reserved for yard sale stuff. Oh my God! I quickly walked over there and retrieved the 18 year old bear. Aghast, I turned to my daughter and asked, "If you don't want Rice Pudding can I have him?"
She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Whatever."
It's painful to see that she has no memory but I understand why she doesn't. She is a totally different person than the person who played with Rice Pudding lo those many years ago. A completely different person! Of course, I'm a completely different person than I was back then, too. But the difference is that I remember!
That's why I saved Rice Pudding; because someday my daughter will remember, too. And wouldn't it be grand for him to still be around for when she remembered? Now, Rice Pudding sits on a shelf on the wall above my desk where he watches me spend endless hours at the computer. Who said teddy bears are just for kids?
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
