A recluse living in the Rocky Mountains with his dog, Shawnee, White Feather tells stories that lead us back to the primal joy of our existence. His philosophical and metaphysical essays push the envelope of our perspectives while grounding us to the feelings that connect us with our source. With insight and feeling, White Feather shares his journey through the shift in consciousness the world is going through, compelling us to look at our own journey. To discuss White Feather's writings and other philosophical and metaphysical subjects with others, visit White Feather Forum.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Ramble #14
by White Feather
There is competition evident in every aspect of society it seems. It's what drives our economy, it's a vital part of our government, and it certainly runs entertainment, whether that's sports, movies, or the television, where competition is involved to some extent in every story line, and it is projected very heavily in the advertising. Some say we cannot evolve without competition, but others say we must evolve beyond competition. What's your take?
The economy is in a very precarious state. No where is the competition fiercer than in the world of business. Has this proved truly beneficial for humankind overall? In the competition to be number one have we let some other priorities slip away? Some say that animals and nature are very competitive, so it's only natural for us to be also. But the animals competition is in resonation with planetary harmonics. Human competition goes far beyond sustenance and survival. There's something else involved with human competition that is not there with animal competition. What could that be?
And how did it get there?
When competition becomes a belief structure, those working within that structure will use competition to accomplish their goals. It will seem natural and perfunctory to them; it's just the way it's done. Every competition won leads to a new and potentially greater competition, which in turn leads to another. There always must be an adversary to engage in order to stay in the state of competition (and thereby feed the belief structure). From within that belief structure it is very difficult to get different perspectives on the situation. Sometimes it takes a collapse or big shake-up of the belief structure to get those involved to see new perspectives, thus allowing them to redefine key components of that belief structure.
When one works within a competitive belief structure one is tied into hierarchy. From the second there is a winner and loser, there is hierarchy. The hierarchy, of course, gets much more complicated than that, but it all boils down to a game of king of the hill. And I'm not talking about the TV show. I'm talking about the game little children play. You know, there's a small hill or mound of dirt, and whoever gets to the top first is king of the hill, but they must then defend their position as all the other kids try to get to the top, pushing the first king down. When you're in a competitive belief structure the ultimate goal is always the top of the hill. And life becomes a competition with others to get to the top. It is the battle to the top that everyone is encouraged to pursue and the resulting melee is what drives our economy.
What is the ultimate human competition? Is it war? When you've made it to the top of the competitive hierarchy the only challenge left is war. When all the business competitions have been won, and when all the political competitions have been won, and all the personal competitions have been won, the only worthy competitive challenge left is war. It's the last way left to win. And in a competitive belief structure winning is always the ultimate goal. But you can't win unless there's a loser. That's the nature of competition.
Are there other perspectives of competition that can help us redefine it? Or is there a methodology and belief structure that we can replace competition with? Is cooperation a viable alternative? Would we be able to function without that competitive edge? Are we nearing the end of competition's life-span? Is the belief structure about to collapse? Will the economy and government collapse with it? Or will a redefining save things?
What happens when a kid gets to the top of the sand pile, proclaiming himself king, and he's ready to fight to maintain his position, but all the other kids suddenly quit playing the game? Without the other kids to engage, the kid atop the sand pile loses all his power, and is no longer king. The competition, and hence the game, are essentially over. Without putting all our attention on the competitive struggle up the sand pile, we can suddenly see other things in the world and we can put our focus elsewhere. Perhaps we'll see other ways of living that do not involve the human competition we've been used to. Perhaps there is a better way.
Copyright © 2002-2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
There is competition evident in every aspect of society it seems. It's what drives our economy, it's a vital part of our government, and it certainly runs entertainment, whether that's sports, movies, or the television, where competition is involved to some extent in every story line, and it is projected very heavily in the advertising. Some say we cannot evolve without competition, but others say we must evolve beyond competition. What's your take?
The economy is in a very precarious state. No where is the competition fiercer than in the world of business. Has this proved truly beneficial for humankind overall? In the competition to be number one have we let some other priorities slip away? Some say that animals and nature are very competitive, so it's only natural for us to be also. But the animals competition is in resonation with planetary harmonics. Human competition goes far beyond sustenance and survival. There's something else involved with human competition that is not there with animal competition. What could that be?
And how did it get there?
When competition becomes a belief structure, those working within that structure will use competition to accomplish their goals. It will seem natural and perfunctory to them; it's just the way it's done. Every competition won leads to a new and potentially greater competition, which in turn leads to another. There always must be an adversary to engage in order to stay in the state of competition (and thereby feed the belief structure). From within that belief structure it is very difficult to get different perspectives on the situation. Sometimes it takes a collapse or big shake-up of the belief structure to get those involved to see new perspectives, thus allowing them to redefine key components of that belief structure.
When one works within a competitive belief structure one is tied into hierarchy. From the second there is a winner and loser, there is hierarchy. The hierarchy, of course, gets much more complicated than that, but it all boils down to a game of king of the hill. And I'm not talking about the TV show. I'm talking about the game little children play. You know, there's a small hill or mound of dirt, and whoever gets to the top first is king of the hill, but they must then defend their position as all the other kids try to get to the top, pushing the first king down. When you're in a competitive belief structure the ultimate goal is always the top of the hill. And life becomes a competition with others to get to the top. It is the battle to the top that everyone is encouraged to pursue and the resulting melee is what drives our economy.
What is the ultimate human competition? Is it war? When you've made it to the top of the competitive hierarchy the only challenge left is war. When all the business competitions have been won, and when all the political competitions have been won, and all the personal competitions have been won, the only worthy competitive challenge left is war. It's the last way left to win. And in a competitive belief structure winning is always the ultimate goal. But you can't win unless there's a loser. That's the nature of competition.
Are there other perspectives of competition that can help us redefine it? Or is there a methodology and belief structure that we can replace competition with? Is cooperation a viable alternative? Would we be able to function without that competitive edge? Are we nearing the end of competition's life-span? Is the belief structure about to collapse? Will the economy and government collapse with it? Or will a redefining save things?
What happens when a kid gets to the top of the sand pile, proclaiming himself king, and he's ready to fight to maintain his position, but all the other kids suddenly quit playing the game? Without the other kids to engage, the kid atop the sand pile loses all his power, and is no longer king. The competition, and hence the game, are essentially over. Without putting all our attention on the competitive struggle up the sand pile, we can suddenly see other things in the world and we can put our focus elsewhere. Perhaps we'll see other ways of living that do not involve the human competition we've been used to. Perhaps there is a better way.
Copyright © 2002-2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Perspectives on Forgiveness
by White Feather
I can understand why so many people don't care to learn about their other focuses (other lives). A lot of painful things can be brought up and it's not always easy to process. You can imagine how difficult it was for me to learn about and connect with my other focus as a Lakota warrior. That Lakota warrior is a killing machine. He killed a lot of people--and I don't mean dozens of people, but rather HUNDREDS of people! In connecting with him, I felt that killing, and let me tell you, it is a heinous feeling. It is gut-wrenchingly heinous. It is the ultimate deplorable act. To feel the accumulated energy of HUNDREDS of those acts is about the toughest thing I've had to do in this life.
It's no wonder I'm such a super-ultra-pacifist in this life. I've never struck another human. Even as a little kid I was extreme. I didn't even kill bugs. I've always strived to not kill anything. Not even black widow spiders. I won't even swat flies.
So am I reacting to an interdimensional impingement? Am I balancing out that fella's killing with my ultra-pacifism? Are he and I just playing different roles?
Remember I said that we all take turns playing all the roles. We all have other focuses that have killed or been a persecutor or a victim. It's part of experiencing this reality in its entirety (so that we can move on). But since we judge those actions as wrong and bad, they get locked up in a little room in our brains with all the other things we've labeled wrong and bad. With those things locked in that room, we don't have to think about it or face it. That's one reason it's so hard to connect to other focuses; because the actions of those focuses--which is a way to connect to them--has been judged and labeled and locked away.
The key to it all is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the dropping away of judgments. Judgments are like sticky gooey tar. Whenever one judges something this sticky gooey tar is secreted and sticks to that which we judge. This sticky gooey tar connects us to that which we judge. It will continue to glue us to that which we judge until we forgive; releasing those judgments.
Now let's talk about guilt for a minute. Guilt is utterly dependent on judgment. You can't feel guilty about something unless you have judged that something to be wrong and bad. Once again, it is forgiveness that overcomes guilt. The dropping away of judgments. Living in guilt can be seen as a condition of living in excessive sticky gooey tar; the result of being excessively judgmental.
Our other focuses have committed all the atrocities; murder, rape, persecution, torture, theft, abuse....everything. And we are stuck in stick gooey tar from the collective guilt from all those atrocities. The only way out of the sticky gooey tar is to forgive all those other focuses. (That's a big part of what other-life regression is all about.) We have to drop our judgments. We cannot forgive our selves until we can forgive our other focuses. And we cannot forgive others until we have forgiven our selves. See how important it is to forgive our selves? It's the only way out of the sticky gooey tar that is keeping us from evolving into a new paradigm of consciousness.
I know it is difficult to face the atrocities of our other lives. Believe me, I know. But I've learned that we will eventually face them because we're stuck to them with sticky gooey tar. Everything that we judge will eventually come back to us because of the sticky gooey tar that results from judgment. It will be stuck to us until we release the judgment (Forgiveness). In the past I have fought it and denied it, but I have eventually come to learn that forgiveness is the only way.
Copyright © 2003-2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
I can understand why so many people don't care to learn about their other focuses (other lives). A lot of painful things can be brought up and it's not always easy to process. You can imagine how difficult it was for me to learn about and connect with my other focus as a Lakota warrior. That Lakota warrior is a killing machine. He killed a lot of people--and I don't mean dozens of people, but rather HUNDREDS of people! In connecting with him, I felt that killing, and let me tell you, it is a heinous feeling. It is gut-wrenchingly heinous. It is the ultimate deplorable act. To feel the accumulated energy of HUNDREDS of those acts is about the toughest thing I've had to do in this life.
It's no wonder I'm such a super-ultra-pacifist in this life. I've never struck another human. Even as a little kid I was extreme. I didn't even kill bugs. I've always strived to not kill anything. Not even black widow spiders. I won't even swat flies.
So am I reacting to an interdimensional impingement? Am I balancing out that fella's killing with my ultra-pacifism? Are he and I just playing different roles?
Remember I said that we all take turns playing all the roles. We all have other focuses that have killed or been a persecutor or a victim. It's part of experiencing this reality in its entirety (so that we can move on). But since we judge those actions as wrong and bad, they get locked up in a little room in our brains with all the other things we've labeled wrong and bad. With those things locked in that room, we don't have to think about it or face it. That's one reason it's so hard to connect to other focuses; because the actions of those focuses--which is a way to connect to them--has been judged and labeled and locked away.
The key to it all is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the dropping away of judgments. Judgments are like sticky gooey tar. Whenever one judges something this sticky gooey tar is secreted and sticks to that which we judge. This sticky gooey tar connects us to that which we judge. It will continue to glue us to that which we judge until we forgive; releasing those judgments.
Now let's talk about guilt for a minute. Guilt is utterly dependent on judgment. You can't feel guilty about something unless you have judged that something to be wrong and bad. Once again, it is forgiveness that overcomes guilt. The dropping away of judgments. Living in guilt can be seen as a condition of living in excessive sticky gooey tar; the result of being excessively judgmental.
Our other focuses have committed all the atrocities; murder, rape, persecution, torture, theft, abuse....everything. And we are stuck in stick gooey tar from the collective guilt from all those atrocities. The only way out of the sticky gooey tar is to forgive all those other focuses. (That's a big part of what other-life regression is all about.) We have to drop our judgments. We cannot forgive our selves until we can forgive our other focuses. And we cannot forgive others until we have forgiven our selves. See how important it is to forgive our selves? It's the only way out of the sticky gooey tar that is keeping us from evolving into a new paradigm of consciousness.
I know it is difficult to face the atrocities of our other lives. Believe me, I know. But I've learned that we will eventually face them because we're stuck to them with sticky gooey tar. Everything that we judge will eventually come back to us because of the sticky gooey tar that results from judgment. It will be stuck to us until we release the judgment (Forgiveness). In the past I have fought it and denied it, but I have eventually come to learn that forgiveness is the only way.
Copyright © 2003-2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Ramble #13
by White Feather
The god that you are, the god that we all are, is the god that is experiencing the All That Is. The god that we all are is our connection to the universe. There is Christ Concsiousness, then there is God Consciousness, then there is Universal Consciousness--or pure ONE-ness. It is through Christ Consciousness that we open up to our divinity. It is our divinity that we need to be able to go back out into the universe and touch pure ONE-ness. It is merely our refusal to look at and accept our divinity that keeps us from accepting our spiritual sovereignty, and which keeps us from experiencing the ONE-ness which is our birthright.
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
The god that you are, the god that we all are, is the god that is experiencing the All That Is. The god that we all are is our connection to the universe. There is Christ Concsiousness, then there is God Consciousness, then there is Universal Consciousness--or pure ONE-ness. It is through Christ Consciousness that we open up to our divinity. It is our divinity that we need to be able to go back out into the universe and touch pure ONE-ness. It is merely our refusal to look at and accept our divinity that keeps us from accepting our spiritual sovereignty, and which keeps us from experiencing the ONE-ness which is our birthright.
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Forgotten Selves
by White Feather
What if every single person you meet in your life you've met before in other lives? Imagine that for a moment. No one is a stranger. Everyone is a soul-mate acting out every conceivable sort of relationship.
It is like taking two actors and putting them on a stage then giving them a few hundred different plays to act out together. In one play, actor A is a father and actor B is a daughter. In another play, actor A is a soldier and actor B is also a soldier who happens to kill actor A. In another play, actors A and B fall in love and have seven kids. In another play, actors A and B never meet until right before they die. In yet another play, actor A is a wife who is beaten by her husband--who happens to be actor B. In another play, actor B is a wealthy entertainer who gets killed by a crazed bum on the street who happens to be actor A. In still another life actors A and B end up being a songwriting team, as well as gay lovers, who write several hit Broadway musicals. Then there's the life A and B lived together in the jungles of Sumatra. It was primitive times and A and B were hunting. A slipped on a steep ledge on the side of a mountain and breaks his leg. B is afraid to climb down and try to save A, and he leaves A to die.
As you can see, the possibilities are endless for plays for the two actors to play out together. We have soul-mates because monologues get boring. We want a play with more than one actor so that we can see and experience the drama of interaction. Our soul-mates are those fellow actors in the same acting company that we signed up for. We've contracted to create as many dramas as we can so we can experience interaction from as many different perspectives as possible so that a wholeness of experience can be achieved.
So if there is someone in our lives who appears to be an enemy, they may have been our lover in another play (life). And our lover may have been our slave master or murderer in another life. If someone trusts us completely they may have betrayed us in another life and those who betray us may very well have been betrayed by us before.
Actors are a tight bunch. When they're not on stage they have their own community and they are themselves within that community. But once on stage they assume the role they agreed to play. That role may be to fight another actor, or it may be a love scene with another actor, or whatever; but the good actor knows it's just a role and doesn't let the drama affect their relationship off stage. They know the difference between drama and just being themselves.
Can you see what would happen if the actors got the drama and their "real relationships" mixed up? One actor could really get upset with another actor who is playing their part, not remembering that it's just a part.
So after those original two actors take a break after say fifty plays and they get off-stage their "normal off-stage relationship" suddenly becomes clouded with all the drama from those fifty plays. Memories of betrayal and murder and victimhood and lust and companionship still linger and subtly influence their off-stage relationship.
After doing several hundred plays together, the two actors find it even more difficult to return to their normal off-stage selves. There have been so many roles that they've played that they meld with the off-stage self and a new self is created that is an amalgamation of the original off-stage self and all the many roles played. Eventually this amalgamation becomes what is considered the real self and the original real off-stage self is forgotten. Self-realization can be seen as seeing through the amalgamation and finding that forgotten self. Finding our own forgotten self allows us to see through the amalgamation of others and express love to their forgotten selves. Once we have remembered our original off-stage forgotten selves then we can see and better appreciate all those many plays we've done together and this opens up the potential for a whole new spectrum of plays to do.
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
What if every single person you meet in your life you've met before in other lives? Imagine that for a moment. No one is a stranger. Everyone is a soul-mate acting out every conceivable sort of relationship.
It is like taking two actors and putting them on a stage then giving them a few hundred different plays to act out together. In one play, actor A is a father and actor B is a daughter. In another play, actor A is a soldier and actor B is also a soldier who happens to kill actor A. In another play, actors A and B fall in love and have seven kids. In another play, actors A and B never meet until right before they die. In yet another play, actor A is a wife who is beaten by her husband--who happens to be actor B. In another play, actor B is a wealthy entertainer who gets killed by a crazed bum on the street who happens to be actor A. In still another life actors A and B end up being a songwriting team, as well as gay lovers, who write several hit Broadway musicals. Then there's the life A and B lived together in the jungles of Sumatra. It was primitive times and A and B were hunting. A slipped on a steep ledge on the side of a mountain and breaks his leg. B is afraid to climb down and try to save A, and he leaves A to die.
As you can see, the possibilities are endless for plays for the two actors to play out together. We have soul-mates because monologues get boring. We want a play with more than one actor so that we can see and experience the drama of interaction. Our soul-mates are those fellow actors in the same acting company that we signed up for. We've contracted to create as many dramas as we can so we can experience interaction from as many different perspectives as possible so that a wholeness of experience can be achieved.
So if there is someone in our lives who appears to be an enemy, they may have been our lover in another play (life). And our lover may have been our slave master or murderer in another life. If someone trusts us completely they may have betrayed us in another life and those who betray us may very well have been betrayed by us before.
Actors are a tight bunch. When they're not on stage they have their own community and they are themselves within that community. But once on stage they assume the role they agreed to play. That role may be to fight another actor, or it may be a love scene with another actor, or whatever; but the good actor knows it's just a role and doesn't let the drama affect their relationship off stage. They know the difference between drama and just being themselves.
Can you see what would happen if the actors got the drama and their "real relationships" mixed up? One actor could really get upset with another actor who is playing their part, not remembering that it's just a part.
So after those original two actors take a break after say fifty plays and they get off-stage their "normal off-stage relationship" suddenly becomes clouded with all the drama from those fifty plays. Memories of betrayal and murder and victimhood and lust and companionship still linger and subtly influence their off-stage relationship.
After doing several hundred plays together, the two actors find it even more difficult to return to their normal off-stage selves. There have been so many roles that they've played that they meld with the off-stage self and a new self is created that is an amalgamation of the original off-stage self and all the many roles played. Eventually this amalgamation becomes what is considered the real self and the original real off-stage self is forgotten. Self-realization can be seen as seeing through the amalgamation and finding that forgotten self. Finding our own forgotten self allows us to see through the amalgamation of others and express love to their forgotten selves. Once we have remembered our original off-stage forgotten selves then we can see and better appreciate all those many plays we've done together and this opens up the potential for a whole new spectrum of plays to do.
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
Monday, August 09, 2004
Rice Pudding
by White Feather
Early last year when we were moving we had a yard sale to get rid of a bunch of junk and lighten the load we had to move. It was at this time that my teenage daughter decided she wanted to get rid of all her stuffed animals. She was far too "old" for them and hadn't played with any of them for many years. Gathering them up, she came up with two large garbage bags full of stuffed animals. There was one stuffed teddy bear that I wouldn't let her get rid of though.
I wouldn't let her get rid of Rice Pudding. Rice Pudding is a white teddy bear who is about a foot tall. He's male and has shiny black eyes and tan cordurouy pads on his feet and hands and he's got a tan cordurouy nose--or at least he did; it's mostly worn off now.
Rice Pudding was the very first present my daughter ever received in this life; in fact she received it a couple weeks before she was born. I worked at a bookstore at the time and I was called away from work one day in what turned out to be one of a few false labors. When I went back to work the next day all the bookstore employees had chipped in together to buy Rice Pudding for the new baby. I accepted the teddy bear but had to tell the people that the baby didn't come yet after all.
So Rice Pudding sat in the crib that was set up in our bedroom, patiently waiting for his mistress to show up. Before the baby appeared two more stuffed animals joined the entourage but Rice Pudding was the very first. I named him Rice Pudding because that is what he looked like. His little tufts of white fur seemed to float in milk and it looked like rice pudding--or at least it did back then. (I have this nagging propensity to name things after food so don't ever ask me to name something while I'm standing in the kitchen.)
Rice Pudding was a very loving and loyal little teddy bear. He went everywhere my daughter went and he kept an eye on her when she slept. He was her favorite stuffed animal and, like I said, she ended up having a lot of them. Rice Pudding, though, was special.
Being a mother was the greatest experience of my life. I had never been one to play with dolls but back then I spent many an afternoon on the floor playing with my girl and her retinue of brightly colored animals and dolls. We did a lot of playing together--of course, she claims to not remember any of it. Well, I sure remember!
I remember once in Oregon my daughter and I went to the laundromat. Since Rice Pudding went everywhere she did, he came to the laundromat, too. While I did laundry, my daughter gave Rice Pudding rides around the laundromat in a laundry basket. Back then, she could have fun anywhere.
So I finished the laundry, loaded it into the car and then got my daughter and strapped her into the car. We headed home and as I was bringing an armload of laundry into the house after bringing my daughter in first I was stopped in my tracks by an awful shrieking scream. My daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs as though she had just been seriously hurt. I dropped the laundry and ran to her in the next room.
There was a look of absolute horror on my daughter's face. She screamed again at the top of her little lungs. I'm surprised my eardrums didn't shatter. Then, she slapped her hands to her cheeks and screamed, "Rice Pudding!" That's when I realized that she had left Rice Pudding at the laundromat. She was beside herself in panic!
So I grabbed her up and bolted out the door. I strapped her back into the car as fast as I could as she screamed at the top of her lungs. I got into the driver's seat and peeled out, heading to the laundromat as though we were headed for the emergency room at the hospital.
And when we got there Rice Pudding was still there sitting in the laundry basket! Boy was I ever relieved! My daughter ran over and snatched him out of the basket and gave him a hug that was one of the most precious things I've ever witnessed.
So last year my daughter tried to sell all her stuffed animals at the yard sale but they didn't move very well. Near the end of the yard sale she finally got the idea of just giving them away but it was too late. She still had too many left. That's when I suggested that we take the remaining stuffed animals to a local Christian charity that provides toys, food, and clothing to the poor. I pointed out that she could be helping to make some little kids happy but she didn't seem very interested in that. The main thing she liked was that she could get rid of them. That was a little sad but to tell you the truth after that long day of running a yard sale I was rather anxious to get rid of some of the leftovers, too. We brought a whole car load of stuff to the charity including the two big bags of stuffed animals. Unfortunately, we felt more relieved that charitable. My daughter sure didn't have any qualms about giving away all her stuffed animals. She had no emotional attachment to any of them since she didn't even remember when she played with them.
It's a good thing I saved Rice Pudding!
That was last year. This year, over the last couple of weeks my daughter has been cleaning out her room because she is moving out to be her own adult. I told her that I was going to have another yard sale later this month so if she wanted anything sold at the yard sale to put it in one corner of the room.
So there I was talking with my daughter about something while she sorted through her stuff when suddenly I saw Rice Pudding go flying through the air towards that corner of the room reserved for yard sale stuff. Oh my God! I quickly walked over there and retrieved the 18 year old bear. Aghast, I turned to my daughter and asked, "If you don't want Rice Pudding can I have him?"
She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Whatever."
It's painful to see that she has no memory but I understand why she doesn't. She is a totally different person than the person who played with Rice Pudding lo those many years ago. A completely different person! Of course, I'm a completely different person than I was back then, too. But the difference is that I remember!
That's why I saved Rice Pudding; because someday my daughter will remember, too. And wouldn't it be grand for him to still be around for when she remembered? Now, Rice Pudding sits on a shelf on the wall above my desk where he watches me spend endless hours at the computer. Who said teddy bears are just for kids?
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
Early last year when we were moving we had a yard sale to get rid of a bunch of junk and lighten the load we had to move. It was at this time that my teenage daughter decided she wanted to get rid of all her stuffed animals. She was far too "old" for them and hadn't played with any of them for many years. Gathering them up, she came up with two large garbage bags full of stuffed animals. There was one stuffed teddy bear that I wouldn't let her get rid of though.
I wouldn't let her get rid of Rice Pudding. Rice Pudding is a white teddy bear who is about a foot tall. He's male and has shiny black eyes and tan cordurouy pads on his feet and hands and he's got a tan cordurouy nose--or at least he did; it's mostly worn off now.
Rice Pudding was the very first present my daughter ever received in this life; in fact she received it a couple weeks before she was born. I worked at a bookstore at the time and I was called away from work one day in what turned out to be one of a few false labors. When I went back to work the next day all the bookstore employees had chipped in together to buy Rice Pudding for the new baby. I accepted the teddy bear but had to tell the people that the baby didn't come yet after all.
So Rice Pudding sat in the crib that was set up in our bedroom, patiently waiting for his mistress to show up. Before the baby appeared two more stuffed animals joined the entourage but Rice Pudding was the very first. I named him Rice Pudding because that is what he looked like. His little tufts of white fur seemed to float in milk and it looked like rice pudding--or at least it did back then. (I have this nagging propensity to name things after food so don't ever ask me to name something while I'm standing in the kitchen.)
Rice Pudding was a very loving and loyal little teddy bear. He went everywhere my daughter went and he kept an eye on her when she slept. He was her favorite stuffed animal and, like I said, she ended up having a lot of them. Rice Pudding, though, was special.
Being a mother was the greatest experience of my life. I had never been one to play with dolls but back then I spent many an afternoon on the floor playing with my girl and her retinue of brightly colored animals and dolls. We did a lot of playing together--of course, she claims to not remember any of it. Well, I sure remember!
I remember once in Oregon my daughter and I went to the laundromat. Since Rice Pudding went everywhere she did, he came to the laundromat, too. While I did laundry, my daughter gave Rice Pudding rides around the laundromat in a laundry basket. Back then, she could have fun anywhere.
So I finished the laundry, loaded it into the car and then got my daughter and strapped her into the car. We headed home and as I was bringing an armload of laundry into the house after bringing my daughter in first I was stopped in my tracks by an awful shrieking scream. My daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs as though she had just been seriously hurt. I dropped the laundry and ran to her in the next room.
There was a look of absolute horror on my daughter's face. She screamed again at the top of her little lungs. I'm surprised my eardrums didn't shatter. Then, she slapped her hands to her cheeks and screamed, "Rice Pudding!" That's when I realized that she had left Rice Pudding at the laundromat. She was beside herself in panic!
So I grabbed her up and bolted out the door. I strapped her back into the car as fast as I could as she screamed at the top of her lungs. I got into the driver's seat and peeled out, heading to the laundromat as though we were headed for the emergency room at the hospital.
And when we got there Rice Pudding was still there sitting in the laundry basket! Boy was I ever relieved! My daughter ran over and snatched him out of the basket and gave him a hug that was one of the most precious things I've ever witnessed.
So last year my daughter tried to sell all her stuffed animals at the yard sale but they didn't move very well. Near the end of the yard sale she finally got the idea of just giving them away but it was too late. She still had too many left. That's when I suggested that we take the remaining stuffed animals to a local Christian charity that provides toys, food, and clothing to the poor. I pointed out that she could be helping to make some little kids happy but she didn't seem very interested in that. The main thing she liked was that she could get rid of them. That was a little sad but to tell you the truth after that long day of running a yard sale I was rather anxious to get rid of some of the leftovers, too. We brought a whole car load of stuff to the charity including the two big bags of stuffed animals. Unfortunately, we felt more relieved that charitable. My daughter sure didn't have any qualms about giving away all her stuffed animals. She had no emotional attachment to any of them since she didn't even remember when she played with them.
It's a good thing I saved Rice Pudding!
That was last year. This year, over the last couple of weeks my daughter has been cleaning out her room because she is moving out to be her own adult. I told her that I was going to have another yard sale later this month so if she wanted anything sold at the yard sale to put it in one corner of the room.
So there I was talking with my daughter about something while she sorted through her stuff when suddenly I saw Rice Pudding go flying through the air towards that corner of the room reserved for yard sale stuff. Oh my God! I quickly walked over there and retrieved the 18 year old bear. Aghast, I turned to my daughter and asked, "If you don't want Rice Pudding can I have him?"
She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Whatever."
It's painful to see that she has no memory but I understand why she doesn't. She is a totally different person than the person who played with Rice Pudding lo those many years ago. A completely different person! Of course, I'm a completely different person than I was back then, too. But the difference is that I remember!
That's why I saved Rice Pudding; because someday my daughter will remember, too. And wouldn't it be grand for him to still be around for when she remembered? Now, Rice Pudding sits on a shelf on the wall above my desk where he watches me spend endless hours at the computer. Who said teddy bears are just for kids?
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Judging Ourselves
by White Feather
We are all divine beings. We are Creators. We can create anything we desire. We do so through the use of feelings. When we utilize feelings, our creations come quickly. When we use emotions, we create more emotions, and what we desire remains beyond our reach. When we are in judgment/emotions, we create by default, magnetically attracting to us circuitry and events that fit our judgments/emotions. When we slip out of judgment/emotion, and live our lives in feeling, then everything we create will be an expression of love, joy, and beauty.
How many times a day do you judge your body? What judgments do you make when you look in the mirror? How do judge that gray hair? Those wrinkles? That beer belly, or those extra pounds? How many times a day do you make a disparaging remark about that bum knee? Or those painful feet? Or those incompetent fingers? How many times do you judge your body as incompetent? As unsexy? As fat? As tired? As sick? As anything less than god-like?
If we are creating by default through our emotions, then every judgment we make gets energized, and that means that every judgment we make about our body will be energized and will become part of our creation. And not just our judgments, but all the judgments others make on our bodies as well, whether that is friends judging your waistline or doctors judging us as cancerous. Every time we judge our bodies and every time we accept a judgment placed on our bodies, our bodies respond in kind, manifesting those judgments.
Of course we make a gazillion judgments a day, so our bodies are in a state of confusion as to which judgments to manifest, so the body creates an amalgam of all those judgments. The judgments made most get the most input into the creation. So if we make 100 judgments a day about how fat we are, and we make 0 judgments a day about how beautiful we are, then, in all likelihood we will manifest the reality of obesity in whatever way we perceive it. How many judgments a day do you make about how beautiful you are, or how healthy you are?
Of course, if you're judging how beautiful you are, you are still in judgment/emotion. When you can truly feel how beautiful and wondrous you are, it will become automatic, and that beauty and joy will shine. You don't have to worry about balancing judgments. Just drop the judgments, and feel. In this state of pure feeling, healing appears miraculous, but that is how it should be normally. A dis-eased organ can tell us a lot about where our judgments/emotions lie. It can be healed by removing those judgments/emotions, and letting in pure unconditional non-judgmental feelings.
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
We are all divine beings. We are Creators. We can create anything we desire. We do so through the use of feelings. When we utilize feelings, our creations come quickly. When we use emotions, we create more emotions, and what we desire remains beyond our reach. When we are in judgment/emotions, we create by default, magnetically attracting to us circuitry and events that fit our judgments/emotions. When we slip out of judgment/emotion, and live our lives in feeling, then everything we create will be an expression of love, joy, and beauty.
How many times a day do you judge your body? What judgments do you make when you look in the mirror? How do judge that gray hair? Those wrinkles? That beer belly, or those extra pounds? How many times a day do you make a disparaging remark about that bum knee? Or those painful feet? Or those incompetent fingers? How many times do you judge your body as incompetent? As unsexy? As fat? As tired? As sick? As anything less than god-like?
If we are creating by default through our emotions, then every judgment we make gets energized, and that means that every judgment we make about our body will be energized and will become part of our creation. And not just our judgments, but all the judgments others make on our bodies as well, whether that is friends judging your waistline or doctors judging us as cancerous. Every time we judge our bodies and every time we accept a judgment placed on our bodies, our bodies respond in kind, manifesting those judgments.
Of course we make a gazillion judgments a day, so our bodies are in a state of confusion as to which judgments to manifest, so the body creates an amalgam of all those judgments. The judgments made most get the most input into the creation. So if we make 100 judgments a day about how fat we are, and we make 0 judgments a day about how beautiful we are, then, in all likelihood we will manifest the reality of obesity in whatever way we perceive it. How many judgments a day do you make about how beautiful you are, or how healthy you are?
Of course, if you're judging how beautiful you are, you are still in judgment/emotion. When you can truly feel how beautiful and wondrous you are, it will become automatic, and that beauty and joy will shine. You don't have to worry about balancing judgments. Just drop the judgments, and feel. In this state of pure feeling, healing appears miraculous, but that is how it should be normally. A dis-eased organ can tell us a lot about where our judgments/emotions lie. It can be healed by removing those judgments/emotions, and letting in pure unconditional non-judgmental feelings.
Copyright © 2004, by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. Books By White Feather
